2016 Commencement Address:
Congratulations, class of 2016. You earned your spot on this stage. Clearly, not everyone does... [This class started out as freshmen with close to 100 students, but they graduated just over 70.]
I spoke at Hanover-Horton graduations in 2007 and in 2013. In preparation for tonight, I went back and read those speeches, and I still think they were good. I tried to give the best speech I could each time. My goal every time was to deliver the graduation speech I wish I had heard when I graduated from high school. That was my goal with this speech as well, an address I call…
Mr. Bulgrien’s Advice to Graduates: Opus one, Number one, Volume one, Book one, the First Preface to the Introduction.
I have a brazillion-and-a-half things to say… but I’ll keep it to just the preface to the introduction for tonight...
Whenever I’m asked to deliver a speech like this, I start out by asking myself, “Who am I to give advice?” I mean, I’m not perfect. Don’t tell my wife that: Maybe she thinks I am… Don’t ask her about that, though...
But I am the one speaking because the graduating seniors asked me to. Perhaps they remember some of the advice I gave them over the years in my classes, for example, how to be better students now and in the future.
It could be they remember some of the things I did with my students, like how my AP English class donated a lifetime supply of plastic cups to Mr. Flint -- stacked neatly all over his classroom by surprise. I know he really appreciated it. Don’t ask him about that, though…
Maybe they remember some of the stories I told them, like how the Schwan’s delivery man didn’t know I had a twin brother and how he reacted when he found out I did, or the true story about the last time I was in an elevator. Absolutely true. HIStory -- not story.
But whether those things had anything to do with their request or not, and whether my students ever realize it or not, I hope that I played a part in the creation and strengthening of good habits.
This is the most important thing I can say to you right now -- that your habits define who you are. You probably know that already. I’m sure you’ve heard at least similar things before. But often the best advice isn’t new advice. In my experience, most of the best pieces of advice I ever heard was stuff I already knew, or at least what I could have figured out if I had just sat down and considered them.
Well, you’re sitting down now. Consider this:
Graduates, this is the best time in your life to change your habits or to develop good ones. Right now is far better than making a New Year’s resolution because New Year’s Eve is followed by January 1st, and January 2nd, and the 5th, and the 10th. And if we leave the holiday and go back to our jobs or back to our colleges, then it’s extremely difficult to actually change, because we get stuck in the routine again, the old habits again.
But you graduating seniors don’t have anything to go back to. You have to move on to your next stage, whether that’s college or career, so it’s a perfect time to start out by reinforcing the habits you want to form and by working to prevent the habits you don’t want.
Now, it may seem like I’m only talking to the graduates, but I’m talking to the audience almost as directly because I’m in the same shoes. I already have an established routine that will be harder for me to change. There are some things I want to become good habits, and writing this speech has inspired me to do better. It has made me reexamine the things I do and why I do them. I hope it inspires you as well, because if you’re not getting better, you’re getting worse.
We know some things about habits, so we should use that knowledge to help us succeed.
It depends on whom you ask, but the experts say that 40-90% of what we do is habit. (90%? If that’s accurate, what does that say about our daily lives?) For the sake of argument, let’s keep it on the lower end. Let’s say it’s around 50%. Half of what we do is based on our habits? Well, they better be good ones, then. Really, that’s highly unlikely -- that all of the habits that make up half of our time are beneficial.
I asked my wife to help me think of some bad habits of mine to use for examples. She couldn’t think of any. Not a single one. Don’t verify that with her, please. It may or may not be a total lie…
Since I ostensibly have no bad habits to speak of, I’ll just have to move on.
We know how habits form. They’re the things we decide to do over and over, and those decisions are based on our priorities. The things that we choose to do over and over eventually become the things we do over and over without making conscious decisions anymore.
Some recent studies suggest it takes at least 66 days to form a habit. 66. Days. That’s about half of a semester, if you put it in academic terms. That’s a long time, but it actually comes as no surprise. Anyone who is honest with himself knows that “What comes easy won’t last, and what lasts won’t come easy.” I think just knowing how long it takes will help more people succeed at it.
There are more things that we know about habits that can help us.
If you really want to form better habits, tell someone else about your goals. You can lie to yourself, but it’s a lot harder to lie to someone else, especially someone who knows you and cares about you. Don’t tell me. I don’t care about you… Just kidding. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. But don’t tell me because I won’t see you on a regular basis. Tell someone who will: your parents, your college roommate, your best friend, your significant other, your spouse. If you tell someone else that you want to get all A’s, that you want to make the dean’s list, or that you want to be employee of the month, then you’re more likely to stick to the habits that will help you get there.
A second thing we know that helps is having regular reminders. If it’s going to take 66 days or longer to make a good habit, use some of the technology available to us. Set your phone to remind you once a week for the rest of the summer -- for the whole semester -- for your first six months on the job -- whatever applies to you. Or write reminders on your calendar if you look at it regularly.
And don’t forget to reward your successes. We give treats to dogs while we’re training them. We deserve no less. So plan on ways to reward yourself for making progress, such as earning a short break for working a reasonable amount of time. Just this afternoon I made myself wait until I was finished with this speech to get some Mountain Dew. I have never been so motivated in my life...
It’s not like I’m addicted, though. I mean, I am, but it’s not like I was going through withdrawals. I mean, I was, but… I should just continue...
We have to do things like this to help us because the more often we say “No,” both to things that are bad for us and to things that are good for us, the easier it gets. And the more often we say “Yes,” both to things that are good for us and to things that are bad for us, the easier it gets.
What follows next are some of my classic recommendations for good habits:
Put your phone down and spend time with your family more often. A friend of mine lost his father just this week. When I talked with him on the phone past midnight, he didn’t say he wished he spent less time with his dad. Quite the opposite, actually.
It takes strong willpower and good habits to stay out of debt these days, so consider this: businesses don’t offer deals like “zero money down and zero payments for twelve months” in order for them to lose money. Check out a guy named Dave Ramsey if you want really good advice about your money. He says the same kinds of things about priorities and habits, and I wish I had heard him sooner. There are a lot of people my age and older who wish they had started out with the habits he recommends. Graduates, this is your chance.
Some advice about time that changed my life in college was to wake up at a decent time and work on my studies until dinner time. Of course I ate lunch and took short breaks during that stretch, but when I changed my routine, my GPA improved ginormously, and so did my understanding. It sounds so simple because it is, but simple doesn’t always mean easy. It was hard to overcome my bad habits, but eventually my new routine changed my academic life -- and the rest of my life, as a result.
And it might sound morbid, but I’ve told my students that they should think about their own deaths. I have to come up with a better way to say that… But death is one of the very few things we know are going to happen, along with paying taxes and Kanye West becoming president.
Since we know it will happen, it only makes sense to plan for it. What I’ve told students about this is to live now the way they will wish they had lived. Will your future self look back at you now and be glad about the choices you made about your family, your time, your love life, your money, your career? If not, make the future you happy starting now.
Since your habits define who you are, make sure you consciously take control of the process so your life has a good definition when you get to the end.
Thank you.
Congratulations, class of 2016. You earned your spot on this stage. Clearly, not everyone does... [This class started out as freshmen with close to 100 students, but they graduated just over 70.]
I spoke at Hanover-Horton graduations in 2007 and in 2013. In preparation for tonight, I went back and read those speeches, and I still think they were good. I tried to give the best speech I could each time. My goal every time was to deliver the graduation speech I wish I had heard when I graduated from high school. That was my goal with this speech as well, an address I call…
Mr. Bulgrien’s Advice to Graduates: Opus one, Number one, Volume one, Book one, the First Preface to the Introduction.
I have a brazillion-and-a-half things to say… but I’ll keep it to just the preface to the introduction for tonight...
Whenever I’m asked to deliver a speech like this, I start out by asking myself, “Who am I to give advice?” I mean, I’m not perfect. Don’t tell my wife that: Maybe she thinks I am… Don’t ask her about that, though...
But I am the one speaking because the graduating seniors asked me to. Perhaps they remember some of the advice I gave them over the years in my classes, for example, how to be better students now and in the future.
It could be they remember some of the things I did with my students, like how my AP English class donated a lifetime supply of plastic cups to Mr. Flint -- stacked neatly all over his classroom by surprise. I know he really appreciated it. Don’t ask him about that, though…
Maybe they remember some of the stories I told them, like how the Schwan’s delivery man didn’t know I had a twin brother and how he reacted when he found out I did, or the true story about the last time I was in an elevator. Absolutely true. HIStory -- not story.
But whether those things had anything to do with their request or not, and whether my students ever realize it or not, I hope that I played a part in the creation and strengthening of good habits.
This is the most important thing I can say to you right now -- that your habits define who you are. You probably know that already. I’m sure you’ve heard at least similar things before. But often the best advice isn’t new advice. In my experience, most of the best pieces of advice I ever heard was stuff I already knew, or at least what I could have figured out if I had just sat down and considered them.
Well, you’re sitting down now. Consider this:
Graduates, this is the best time in your life to change your habits or to develop good ones. Right now is far better than making a New Year’s resolution because New Year’s Eve is followed by January 1st, and January 2nd, and the 5th, and the 10th. And if we leave the holiday and go back to our jobs or back to our colleges, then it’s extremely difficult to actually change, because we get stuck in the routine again, the old habits again.
But you graduating seniors don’t have anything to go back to. You have to move on to your next stage, whether that’s college or career, so it’s a perfect time to start out by reinforcing the habits you want to form and by working to prevent the habits you don’t want.
Now, it may seem like I’m only talking to the graduates, but I’m talking to the audience almost as directly because I’m in the same shoes. I already have an established routine that will be harder for me to change. There are some things I want to become good habits, and writing this speech has inspired me to do better. It has made me reexamine the things I do and why I do them. I hope it inspires you as well, because if you’re not getting better, you’re getting worse.
We know some things about habits, so we should use that knowledge to help us succeed.
It depends on whom you ask, but the experts say that 40-90% of what we do is habit. (90%? If that’s accurate, what does that say about our daily lives?) For the sake of argument, let’s keep it on the lower end. Let’s say it’s around 50%. Half of what we do is based on our habits? Well, they better be good ones, then. Really, that’s highly unlikely -- that all of the habits that make up half of our time are beneficial.
I asked my wife to help me think of some bad habits of mine to use for examples. She couldn’t think of any. Not a single one. Don’t verify that with her, please. It may or may not be a total lie…
Since I ostensibly have no bad habits to speak of, I’ll just have to move on.
We know how habits form. They’re the things we decide to do over and over, and those decisions are based on our priorities. The things that we choose to do over and over eventually become the things we do over and over without making conscious decisions anymore.
Some recent studies suggest it takes at least 66 days to form a habit. 66. Days. That’s about half of a semester, if you put it in academic terms. That’s a long time, but it actually comes as no surprise. Anyone who is honest with himself knows that “What comes easy won’t last, and what lasts won’t come easy.” I think just knowing how long it takes will help more people succeed at it.
There are more things that we know about habits that can help us.
If you really want to form better habits, tell someone else about your goals. You can lie to yourself, but it’s a lot harder to lie to someone else, especially someone who knows you and cares about you. Don’t tell me. I don’t care about you… Just kidding. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. But don’t tell me because I won’t see you on a regular basis. Tell someone who will: your parents, your college roommate, your best friend, your significant other, your spouse. If you tell someone else that you want to get all A’s, that you want to make the dean’s list, or that you want to be employee of the month, then you’re more likely to stick to the habits that will help you get there.
A second thing we know that helps is having regular reminders. If it’s going to take 66 days or longer to make a good habit, use some of the technology available to us. Set your phone to remind you once a week for the rest of the summer -- for the whole semester -- for your first six months on the job -- whatever applies to you. Or write reminders on your calendar if you look at it regularly.
And don’t forget to reward your successes. We give treats to dogs while we’re training them. We deserve no less. So plan on ways to reward yourself for making progress, such as earning a short break for working a reasonable amount of time. Just this afternoon I made myself wait until I was finished with this speech to get some Mountain Dew. I have never been so motivated in my life...
It’s not like I’m addicted, though. I mean, I am, but it’s not like I was going through withdrawals. I mean, I was, but… I should just continue...
We have to do things like this to help us because the more often we say “No,” both to things that are bad for us and to things that are good for us, the easier it gets. And the more often we say “Yes,” both to things that are good for us and to things that are bad for us, the easier it gets.
What follows next are some of my classic recommendations for good habits:
Put your phone down and spend time with your family more often. A friend of mine lost his father just this week. When I talked with him on the phone past midnight, he didn’t say he wished he spent less time with his dad. Quite the opposite, actually.
It takes strong willpower and good habits to stay out of debt these days, so consider this: businesses don’t offer deals like “zero money down and zero payments for twelve months” in order for them to lose money. Check out a guy named Dave Ramsey if you want really good advice about your money. He says the same kinds of things about priorities and habits, and I wish I had heard him sooner. There are a lot of people my age and older who wish they had started out with the habits he recommends. Graduates, this is your chance.
Some advice about time that changed my life in college was to wake up at a decent time and work on my studies until dinner time. Of course I ate lunch and took short breaks during that stretch, but when I changed my routine, my GPA improved ginormously, and so did my understanding. It sounds so simple because it is, but simple doesn’t always mean easy. It was hard to overcome my bad habits, but eventually my new routine changed my academic life -- and the rest of my life, as a result.
And it might sound morbid, but I’ve told my students that they should think about their own deaths. I have to come up with a better way to say that… But death is one of the very few things we know are going to happen, along with paying taxes and Kanye West becoming president.
Since we know it will happen, it only makes sense to plan for it. What I’ve told students about this is to live now the way they will wish they had lived. Will your future self look back at you now and be glad about the choices you made about your family, your time, your love life, your money, your career? If not, make the future you happy starting now.
Since your habits define who you are, make sure you consciously take control of the process so your life has a good definition when you get to the end.
Thank you.